My Heart Cry (A Modern Day Psalm) Chapter 2

Written Oct. 30, 2009


The other day Lord I couldn't make the right decision as to go or not to go. I cried out to you from the pit of my stomach and from the depths of my soul. I worry so much about what people think of me if I show up to a place they are. Once you are labeled a name, you fear you will be labeled it again. Even if you're labeled it by people you are cheering for in silence, from the sidelines. Oh! Karen just showed up Lord. Be with our conversation. It's great to see her again. I have missed her so much. I will be back. Hold on. I'm at Insomnia coffee. As you know I was here yesterday with Miranda and Cynthia. I like it here. Coldplay is playing. Couldn't get any better as I sip on my Pumpkin spice chai latte. "Speed of Sound."

Ok God I'm back!! Yesterday when I was treating myself to dinner rather then being some place I really wanted to be, I believe you were with me. You are with me through it all and I learn You are a big God. Maybe you have been mad at me. Maybe I have been mad at you. Only you Lord can calm the storm. Thanks for speaking to me through Isaiah 12 which states, "I will praise you O Lord. Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me. Surely God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, The Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."

God! O please comfort me! Be my salvation! Help me to trust you and not be afraid. Be my strength Lord and be my song. So, Lord, though I have been confused and don't understand why things happen. Though I am hurt be my strength and my song. Help me to Love people even when they hurt me. If I have dreams and get discouraged help me to dream anyway. Help me to forgive even when nothing makes sense. Speak to me gently. Am I walking on the right path? Will you bring restoration? Where do I serve? Why is there division between followers of Christ? Oh Lord I want to be more like you. I don't want to be bitter, but I want to please you. Thank you for comforting me through lyrics by The Glorious Unseen. "How my heart skips beats when your love accepts me as I am." Thank you for loving me and accepting me as I am. Even when others don't accept me, YOU DO and that AMAZES ME. I love you.
Amen